All this fucking smiling hurts my face. Yeah, so my daughter has cancer, why do I feel like I have to be so fucking nice to people. Yes, I am risking being found out. I knew I should have kept them separate, but who knows… Maybe they deserve to hear how I fucking hate being so god damn nice. It goes against my nature.
Names
November 14, 2008I love names.
Frankly, I feel names describe us ultimately and therefore one should take care when naming others. Or, when naming oneself. Names have an intrinsic value, as well as what we add to them. For example, many told tales of names origins, and seemed to find value there. When naming my children, I looked at name origins but mostly the name had to feel right. So much so that my first daughter was Baby Girl for two weeks before I felt the right name.
I have a client, Rachel, who I consistently refer to as Rebekah. Why? What value does Rebecca have over Rachel? I don’t know.
Women are in an interesting position in that they can change their name, (and thus their value) by entering into marriage. By value I do mean the value of a name, but also the value of the woman. Even in today’s society names relegate people to certain classes. I know a woman in my town (12,000 people) who kept her maiden name and another who hyphenated hers just to keep a name that was ‘prominent’ in our community. AND one who outright changed hers to a better one. This type of behavior may indicate that in this community the name is more than a tag. Perhaps in a larger city, names become more of a personal brand or tag. I have encouraged my children to call adults Ms or Mr. and their first names, but it felt awkward. Therefore, I have returned to the more formal, Mr. and Ms and the last name. In some ways, I feel undermined by adults who say, ‘Oh call me First name.’ I would prefer to maintain the distance of the last names. I seem to be referred to mostly as my first name. I’d like for people to call me Dr., but more for amusement than for anything else. I feel most comfortable when my clients call me by my first name.
I’d like for my husband to change his last name to match mine and our children’s but then wonder if i would feel other non-name changing women’s disdain when they realize that my husband and I are both James. To me names have value based on origin, additional energy (do I like the name) and usage. I love saying my name. I may be a little like Denny Crane on Boston legal. There you have it.
